'If There Were Water' Album Lyrics


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'If There Were Water' Album Lyrics


No Genesis

To live is to learn how to die To forgive is to grieve

A funeral under festival lights Spirit sing to me

Of the wonder after grief

To be free is a brokenness

A slave running into wilderness

Pulled out on a river

Where I’m always and never

Pulled above time

Taking me far beyond and deep inside 



Rope to the Cosmos

Every prophet reaches acceptance

At a threshold unknown lets go of his exit

But you won’t accept the long truth

You couldn’t forgive God for what meaning would cost you

Sometimes it’s painful thrown into meaning

But pain is the painkiller when you’re teething

We’re not so numb are we?

We just don’t know how to grieve the presence of beauty

I still can’t distill it

The most important piece is the one that’s missing

I know I’m a compromised witness

To understand this I’ve got to forgive it

I still don’t know what I’m cutting to the core of

Maybe the rope to the cosmos is just braided with boredom

I’m beginning to trust myself to see

From a part that’s never been wounded in me

Maybe the ocean of enlightenment

Was just a slow release of what I could never forgive

I’ve been trying hard to find someone to blame

There’s a silence that keeps calling my name

I’m at the threshold of if to take hold of 

What I can’t be

I’m forgiving the giving up of the ground of my being 

Ask a Child

Give up already

There’s no changing how we measure time

The future is only in your mind 

Give up already on time

You’ll never have less than what is in your mind 

Self-created pain is all you have

If you kill yourself with what may never be 

It’s a needless worry

It’s a needless worry

Ask a child how to be

Ask a child how to be 

The Next Age

Who will empathize with this question

It's been 2,000 years since the resurrection

Who will meet my eyes when I talk

Of the second crucifixion of God 

A voice still cries in the wilderness

The blood of the moon

We've waiting for 2,000 years

We still cry for manna 

In the kingdom of Heaven

There's water in the desert somewhere

When could we admit that Eden is gone?

When do you build a home in Babylon?

The shadow of the apocalypse has stretched so long

Is it an issue of waiting 

Or has it all already come?

A voice still cries in the wilderness

The blood of the moon

We've waiting for 2,000 years

We still cry for manna 

In the kingdom of Heaven

There's water in the desert somewhere

I wanna see the end

Of this aquarian age

But what then?

This book always needs another page

So what if love remained the same 

In the next age

And the next age

And the next age 

Famine Under Festival Lights

I don’t want to stay here

I want this feeling to leave

I’m still learning

All the same things

Again and again

I still haven’t gone where I’ve been

Deflect; misdirect

It’s hard to get yourself to want to reorient

I’ve grown so impatient

Since I stabilized

It feels like a death to sit still

So I distract to feel alive

It stays the same

I used to sit with the tension but it never changed

It’s hard to remain

It’s hard starting famine in a field of grain

For every hand reached to heaven’s high

I’d wait my whole life for a sign

Every time I stood mystified

The purple always fades back to white 

It’ll take my whole afterlife

To learn how to abide

It’s in the waiting I don’t know why

It’s hard starting famine under festival lights 

Lungs 

Cut me out this place

It’s not fair

I want to leave

Gasping at times 

My lungs, they tell me to breathe

Don’t want to be too morbid

Don’t want to bring you down

Like a child I say things out of place

Move on quickly don’t notice

Please don’t notice

The stress of two eyes on me

How many more might be

Is it selfish to wonder

Move on quickly don't answer

Please don’t answer

Pull my eyes pull my hair and my skin

Just limits to feel

Thank God for time

My lungs they tell me to breathe

The light of my love

Eclipses my practice of

sense; Heaven’s nudged

Me toward what I shun

I slip into the sun

Feeling for the fear I flee from

Too late to shut my ears

I’m in a world that’s called me near

I Thought I’d Escape This

I don’t even know what I thought I wanted

But I thought by now I’d have what as a kid I thought I saw in my parents 

I expected

By now every fundamental fear would fade into what I thought they fell back on

I’ve come of age

It’s the same

I don’t even how I thought I’d escape this

I don’t know what I thought was behind the curtain in the distance 

The real death

Was never in the dying – only in the resistance

But to blame

Is a hollow game 

Every Temple Curtain

My life until now

Was asking for easy ways out

Choice to run from choice that scared me

Was always still a cross to carry

I’m waiting for the big event

Waiting for the obvious

End of the story

But even that God won’t interpret for me

I may never really count the cost

I always prayed for freedom but now that I’m free I’m lost

It’s not that I can’t believe

It’s that I don’t want to grieve

I prayed for enlightenment but wasn’t prepared to weep

I’ve waited for God to vindicate me

For a faith that would save me

But Nazarites will lose their hair

Every temple curtain tears

The time has come to decide

How far I’ll go without a sign

I can’t follow into Jerusalem

Still playing dumb

I may never know that I know

In a dry and thirsty land my plea gets answered with a poem:

“World is adoration

Silence is saturation”

There’s freedom out of Egypt

But it’s straight into wilderness 

Take Me Home

Take me home

Across them wide, wide mountains

Oh time that has gone

Take me home

Return me to my sender

Take me home

I count the leaves

As they turn and as they're falling

I count the leaves

They're counting me

As I turn and as I'm falling

They're counting me

Take me home

Across them wide, wide mountains

Oh time that has gone

Take me home

Return me to my sender

Take me home

It weighs on me

And finds me in the strangest places

In seldom peace

It weighs on me

That I may ever see my brother

It weighs on me

Take me home

Across them wide, wide mountains

Oh time that has gone

Take me home

Return me to my sender

Take me home

Take me home

Across them wide, wide mountains

Oh time that has gone

Take me home

Return me to my sender

Take me home

In seldom peace

In seldom peace

In seldom peace...

'Lazarus' Album Lyrics


'Lazarus' Album Lyrics


Reset the Bone

 I want to reset the bone, I want to be right.

But what will I do without my fear to die?

The reason I can’t sit in the silence alone

Is fear of what I might lose if I find the light

 

I say I hate it

But I know I’m the one who’s keeping it here

I say I’m jaded

But I’m creating the cloud that’s creating my fear

 

What do I do with these dreams

Where I push you back when you comfort me?

I know I want just to be seen

But I get so scared when you see me on the brink

 

I say I hate it

But I know I’m the one who’s keeping it here

I say I’m jaded

But I’m creating the cloud that’s creating my fear

 

I don’t see where to step

With my head in the clouds

But the ground is so gray

So I put my pain on the shelf

At a Catch-22 I keep a secret from myself



Curling Into Crescent 

All of my old friends are drifting away

What you leave to the wind finds a way to fade

You may not know what to do

But choosing not to choose

Doesn’t stop the change

 

Sometimes I get so afraid

Of losing my faith

As if my grip would slip

As if the truth’s only true

If I believe in it

 

I’m curling into crescent

I can’t crystallize time

 

When I start feeling the dimming light

I think of my mother singing Silent Night

As I fall asleep

Hoping not to dream

That I’m underneath the waves

 

I’m curling into crescent

I can’t crystallize time



Sweating Blood

I wasn’t trying to be difficult

When I collapsed on the floor and couldn’t get up

I don’t know if I can bear this cup

I don’t know how long I can keep sweating blood

I’m getting tired

Of being old for my age

The light burns like a fire

When I’m up on this stage.

 

Why do so many girls seem to asking

If I’m willing to commit suicide for my family?

As if it’s not love if I can’t pay the price

As if I’m not like Christ if I don’t hate my life

What if I’m real?

What if it’s not a pull?

What if I’m not a steal?

What if I’m hatable?

 

How could I dare to write a poem

If I can’t pay the mortgage on my home?

How could be concerned about my soul

If I’m not filling the masculine role?

“Honey, making art?

Honey, how could you sleep?

Your behaving like a child

With children to feed.”

 

Why is no one impressed

Until I turn around with my paycheck

Until I pay my bills

and can afford

To not need anyone else anymore

Do you even care

If I die inside

Or do you just want

A responsible family man’s respectable life?

 

I always wanted to be like Christ

But I can’t live my life on the firing line

I always wanted a family to feed

But I’m not gonna burn my poetry

I always wanted a wife to adore

But I won’t die up on this white horse

I won’t give up the ghost

I won’t abort my unborn soul



Being Born

To feel a frigid air hit my lungs

To lose my mother’s care all at once

To cry’s the only way to open my lungs

No one asked me if I was ready for the plunge

The light is a little too bright for my eyes

And I shut my lid so tight

Is sight really on the other side?

I’m being born

Cutting the cord.

The world is so cold;

The womb was so warm

I’m being born

Torn from the shore

The tide is so much higher

than before

I’m being born

Poured into the sea

I’m in the belly of a whale

I’m waking from a dream

The dam it breaks so fast

Before I am off of my knees

 

Just look at me one minute

As though you really saw me

For just a moment we’re all together

For just a moment we’re all happy.

I see you in the sundress

I hear you in the trees

You’re in the air that I breathe, I take you when I leave

I cry you when I weep; I dream you when I sleep



Naked On a Pinnacle

I really didn’t mean

For it to fall apart

I tried not to tell the truth

But I couldn’t play the part

I really didn’t mean

For it to end like it did

I was full of good intentions

But I was losing my shit

 

Still I wait to wait to let you in

I’m naked on a pinnacle in the wind

I tremble, I hide

For my catcher in the rye

I'm sick of running toward that cliff

I'm tired of trying not to cry

I'm scared; I try

To find my reasons why

I feel compelled to look away

When I get a tear in my eye

 

When will I be old?

When will I be sober?

Have much disappointment do I need

Before I trust what I think I see?

Have I been heartbroken enough

To know when love is really love?

Have I doubted myself enough

To call my own bluff?

 

Still I wait to try my hand

I’m still a critic in the stands

I feel I'm ready, but I don't know

If I'm bulletproof enough for the blow

I'm tired of the taste

Of cynic's spit in my mouth

There's never enough dopamine in a day

To know exactly how I'll make it out

I tell myself that I'll leave today

Tomorrow I'll figure out how



Unfinished Love 

I'm living in unfinished love

In an unfinished world

I've been waiting on some certainty

To make my decisions for me

I'm feeling uncompleted grace

A room-temperature flame

A quiet murmur in the night

A sky polluted by the light

 

I caught a glimpse in some sacred dream

But the images escape me in my waking

I have a memory of a mother tongue

That I I've forgotten how to speak

A form too deep beneath the sea

 

It's all so uncontained

The paint's running off the frame

My deep convictions can't be proved

But deep magenta has me moved

A mystery you suddenly see

But quickly blurs

You call and hear an answer

But it's a slur

 

I caught a glimpse in some sacred dream

But the images escape me in my waking

I have a memory of a mother tongue

That I I've forgotten how to speak

A form too deep beneath the sea

 

Why would I want to go to heaven if

there’s nothing there left to give?

I would rather be forgiven than to live in

a perfect world

Why would I want to finish the feeling

of human caring – that is to live?



Hound of Heaven

We go to sleep

Without a dream

We blur the line

Between living and dying

We take a sacrament and make it horny

We’re in the wedding, but we’re the bachelor party

We’re laughing about a speechless thing

We close our eyes to relieve the sting

 

But I can’t keep hiding

From the hound of heaven

I lost my head when

You saw the look on my face

Of true heartbreak

And your eyes glazed over

I was asking myself

If the world recovers

 

We’re reality TV; museums of wax

We give a shape to shit and we call it craft

I feel lonely in my doubt that ignorance is bliss

I’ve been killing conversations talking about groundlessness

We’re white-washed tombs, but we’re good at distracting

Ourselves from the show we insist to act in

I’ve been using a smile to conceal

The fear of feeling what no one else feels

 

But I can’t keep hiding

From the hound of heaven

I lost my head when

You saw the look on my face

Of true heartbreak

And your eyes glazed over

I was asking myself

If the world recovers



Incessant Something

There’s so much time

For the quiet

There’s so much time

To let the moment die

There’s so much time

To recognize

I’ve lost so much time

That I tried to petrify

There’s so much time

To be still

But I spend my moment spoken

To keep from feeling unfulfilled

There’s so much time

To let you see

The bruisable parts of me

How unindifferent I really feel

 

The moment of my peace

Is never complete

But hummingly resigned

Non distinct in a chorus with other minds

The question never quits

The answer never ends

A star dies overnight

To recollect in a million lifetimes

 

There’s so much time for the quiet

But I find a sea inside my peace of mind

I hear the humming

Of that incessant something

Do we ever realize life while we live it?

Every minute to be alive;

To spend and waste time



Reanimation

My end and my essence

What when the light leaves my eyes?

What of me without my pain?

What does it mean to reanimate?

Can a painting exist without its paint?

Me and meanness

I go as long as I can before I submit

To the truth that I know

but won’t admit

Though I try I can’t escape

The allegory of a cave

 

Will some book ever close?

And reach the last refrain

Where I wax and wane

Or remain the same;

Return to the ocean; fan into flame

 

I may be

Just a bitch in heat

But I’ll spend my blood

On a baby not yet there

In hope I can conceive

 

Will some book ever close?

And reach the last refrain

Where I wax and wane

Or remain the same

Return to the ocean; fan into flame

 

The wild thyme unseen

The opaque unease

If to be warmed, I must freeze

In my end is my beginning

Reanimation’s the death of me

Not lost, but requiring



Landlocked Conch Shell

I don’t know why I believe

That the world without a man

Would still have the look

Of being looked at

 

If all the ground is flesh

And ocean is your blood

I always knew you

But I don’t think I understood

 

I’m a landlocked conch shell

Carrying the sound of the waves,

I hear the ocean in myself

But I can’t reach the place

That always led me on

For proof of the dawn

I could never find during the night

 

I die to find your face

I try to defy your grace

The higher the climb

The higher the ledge

The more I give

The sweeter the death

 

What if I told you

The same Lazarus

Christ resurrected

Had died again?

Would being here at all

Be all you needed all along

Or would you still require

Some greater miracle?

 

So now I know the price of love:

A descending dove

That always leads to a death

To reveal life to live

But brings me back to the thought

Of if I’ll be caught when I fall

Of if my wonder outweighs

My desire to escape my pain

 

I die to find your face

I try to defy your grace

The higher the climb

The higher the ledge

The more I give

The sweeter the death